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Quote of the day
Translations available in: English (original) | French | Spanish | Italian | German | Portuguese | Swedish | Russian | Dutch | Arabic

Virtue is never left to stand alone. He who has it will have neighbors.
-- Confucius, Chinese philosopher (551 BCE – 479 BCE)

November 30, 2007 | 6:44 AM Comments  0 comments
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Reviving the rail system
Related to country: Nigeria
Translations available in: English (original) | French | Spanish | Italian | German | Portuguese | Swedish | Russian | Dutch | Arabic

Reviving the rail system
By Editorial board
Published: Monday, 26 Nov 2007

The Minister of Transportation, Mrs. Diezani Alison-Madueke, was stating the obvious when she recently emphasised the need to resuscitate the railway system. It is a timely reminder that Nigeria’s almost total dependence on road transport system damages the roads, causes road accidents and slows down the economy.

The Minister has rightly identified the revival of the railway as the one right solution that can bring relief to passengers and reduce the burden on roads. However, while her promise of drastic reforms at the NRC is commendable, much of the improvement needed will come from the political will to reduce graft and inefficiency that have plagued the system for many years as well as opening up the sector for private sector participation.

Of all transport modes, the railway has been the most troubled and neglected. The toll on the economy has been very high in the past 20 years when the rail system became almost moribund. Owing to the government’s stranglehold on the system through the Railway Act of 1955, which makes the sector a monopoly, there has been too little investment.

The consequence has been dire on the economy. NRC’s passenger and freight traffic statistics show that a system that transported over 11 million passengers in 1964 carried just about 1.5 million in 2003. Freight figures also declined sharply from about 3 million tonnes to less than 10,000 tonnes during the same period.

The railway routes have reduced significantly in number and rail travel lost its attraction at a time when the country’s population is expanding rapidly. The roads have become the only cheap alternative to rail, with its attendant problems. For example, the recent increase in the price of cement and the disparity in the pump price of petrol are attributed mainly to the high cost and tedious road distribution. Obviously, an efficient rail system will eliminate the high transportation cost that shoots up production cost.

All efforts to revive the rail system have been futile. The latest attempt by the Obasanjo administration through a 25-year rail development project that was unveiled in 2002 is fraught with inconsistencies. With hazy funding and apparent misplaced priorities, the first phase of the project, which is supposed to connect Lagos and Kano at a cost of $8.3 billion appears to have screeched to a halt.

It is noteworthy that the Yar’Adua administration is reviewing the contract. Instead of relying for funding on the Excess Crude Account, the present administration prefers to explore alternative sources of fund.

With funding as the main obstacle, it is improper for the government to continue to hold on to its monopoly of the rails. In 2000 the FG curiously refused the offer of a private Canadian firm to build the Lagos-Abuja rail network. Similarly, the intention of the Oodua Investments to link the six South-West states with a rail network was thwarted by an unfavourable legal framework.

The Minister of Transportation has taken the right step by adopting a public/private sector approach to the revival of the rail system. But the present legal framework does not encourage private participation in the sector. Meaningful progress in the rail sector will only begin to unfurl when the National Assembly summons the political will to repeal the Railway Act in order to allow for massive injection of funds from private investors.

The government should emulate the examples in Europe and Asia where private investors run railways with ease and stress-free efficiency that is not matched by any other mode of transportation.

November 26, 2007 | 7:58 AM Comments  0 comments
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Taking a holistic look at the Nigerian woman
Related to country: Nigeria
Translations available in: English (original) | French | Spanish | Italian | German | Portuguese | Swedish | Russian | Dutch | Arabic

Written by Ifueko Diagbare
Sunday, 25 November 2007
The Nigerian woman has come very far indeed, from days past, when she was just seen but not heard, thankfully, what defines the Nigerian woman today is certainly more gratifying. This was the observation of participants at the Allure round table which held at the Vanguard conference room, the topic was ‘'taking a holistic look at the Nigerian woman’'
We examined her sexuality - a topic which Allure will take up on its own. The issue of sex elicited quite a rioteous response from all present.
Sex is a very juicy subject understandably so, more time was expended on it. We looked at the Nigerian woman health wise, her fashion and style, an area it was agreed she has conquered, but health wise, we concluded that she was yet to capture this. Excerpts

Kathy Emiko: What I see in the Nigerian woman of today is determination. The Nigerian woman, especially married ones among them are determined to make their homes work. Also, at present, the Nigerian woman is concerned about her looks, especially when she realizes that, even in matrimony, her looks has a lot to do in holding her marriage.

I run a big fitness center where I meet a lot of women, from my perspective, eighty percent of why they come to me is because their husbands are complaining. Some of them complain that, for two months, they have not been touched by their husbands because of their looks.

Even the men these days are becoming concerned about their looks too. Men want wives they can present outside, that is literate and hardworking. Gone is the era of women being house wives. No matter how educated a man is, a lot of them want their women to be active, to look good and to contribute, even if it is just five percent to the well being of the home.

So, a lot of women come to me complaining of their looks and they are so determined, knowing fully well that keeping a man is not only through the stomach. Most of these women are professional cooks. They can bake, cook the best soup, yet, if they can stay with their husbands for two-three months without being touched because of their physical looks, then, there’s a problem somewhere.

These days, the Nigerian woman is so determined, she is so conscious of her looks and can go the extra mile to look the way she looked before her husband met her. So, today, the Nigerian woman is very stylish and she’s very conscious of her physical appearance. It is no longer a matter of she is respectful or she is well mannered. It is much more than that now.

Vivian: I quite agree with you. The Nigerian woman is more conscious of all these and the reason for this is that we realize that a lot of people are more interested in the way they look today, including men, it’s not just the women alone, lots of men are becoming conscious of that looks. Nowadays, everything is competitive, young girls are vicious now and everyone is looking fantastic. If you let yourself go and turn into a Boubou wearing, sit-at- home wife, your husband will lose respect for you and will just see you as a glorified house girl who is just at home tending to things.

So, I see the Nigerian woman as being more goal oriented. She is not waiting for a man to take care of her anymore. She wants to contribute to her family, and to be a success. A lot of women are top flight professionals and are making great strides. When a woman decides to take both her looks and her career seriously, she can do much better than a man.

Eyoita: Women are becoming more oriented, not just about trying to please their husbands. With or without a partner, I think women have just decided that it’s not just about taking care of the home or doing something for one’s partner, but because they want to get on in life too.

Fashion is an area where women in Nigeria have taken to shore. I think, as regards to health, we are still a few steps behind. Cosmetic health, we are getting there because it is gratifying our physical health. But, the inner health, when we are looking at cardiovascular diseases and some other health issues that affect women more than men, I think we still need to be a bit more active. That is a general thing in Nigeria.

When it comes to our health problems, we are still a few miles behind. We have a lot of cases where you find that people have aged very early, some have heart attack, and a lot of these is due to our diet. Right now, the focus on diet is on the right way. Diet shouldn’t just be about being full, one also needs to get the best out of one's diet because one will not want to get a heart attack, osteoporosis, rheumatoid arthritis and some particular conditions that are more prominent in women. There are still some things that women need to take more seriously, which they have not as at now. I have a friend who is a house wife and I was trying to help her. I asked her that when was the last time she went for a medical check up and she was like, "I am so concerned with this and that".

I said to her, “you know what, you actually have to take care of yourself first before you can actually take care of anybody else". So, going back to what we were talking about, I think when it comes to the physical appearance and trying to beautify, we are definitely moving in the right direction, which is great because gone are those days of Boubou wearing wives, we don’t want that anymore. But then, there is that next step which is what you don’t see, what’s actually inside which is making sure that you are healthy as well. So, I think in that sense, we still have something to do.

Jemi: There’s a whole lot of pressure on the Nigerian woman and if we’ve been listening to some of the things that we are discussing, we’ll realize that there is something that is driving the average woman to do some of the things that she is doing. For instance, we are talking of being the top female, her physical appearance, everywhere you want to look good. You go to a simple tea party or a naming ceremony and everybody is coming out ready and dressed to kill. Sometimes like that, I wonder why you want to bring out your best jewellery for just a simple outing like a tea party or just an average party and everybody is camera ready, the make up is perfectly done and the clothes are just out of the ordinary.

Let’s go back to how it used to be. You will just notice that there is a switch somewhere that is driving the average woman to want to earn her own income, to want to be independent of a man, to want to be able to stand on her own feet. There’s definitely something that is driving the average woman to doing the things that she is doing. She might dress nicely, she might come out looking all well, but, that’s not the point, she’s not happy.

So, the jewellery, the fashion and everything is, sometimes, a facade, there’s a problem and the problem is what we are not addressing. There is a switch between the woman and the man, a lot of women are becoming bread winners of their families, some never used to work, but, everybody is going out to find something to do because they don’t want to be surprised. I think that is what we should address.

How did we get to this point that women are beginning to take up the roles of men. Sometimes, people look at you as a single person and they think that, probably, you are too hard on yourself, you take a stand that is so strong. You’re like that because you find men who can’t take their place, who can’t do the things that they are supposed to do. So, if you are used to doing things for yourself, you come on strong, you get stronger with age, you don’t have to wait for anybody to do things for you, you just do those things. And, so, if you meet a man who can’t take his place as a man, you wake up in the morning, you have to change tyres, you have to put the generator on, you know all those traditional things that men should do, you find women doing them because they can’t wait for men any longer.

So, if a woman is beautiful and well dressed, all well and good, but that’s not the problem, there’s something that is dragging her to want to be on top of everything that she’s doing and that is what we should address. We should go back to the home and find out why there’s a role switch and why women are performing the roles of some men. They pay school fees, house rent, take up jobs that you work late into the night. In the past, women didn’t do that because you take up jobs that will enable you to come home early and take care of the children. But, it’s not like that anymore, something is definitely wrong and that is from the home.

Remi: Do we agree that there’s a work switch?

Vivian: I think, personally, a lot of men think that they are God’s gift to women. They think, 'Oh, I’m everything to her so she has to do as I say all the time'. That is why I think there’s a role switch.

Boroji: I will not entirely call it a role switch, but, I think there are lot of women in Nigeria that play their roles. Also, for females that are single, you find that they are doing things and they are masters because women, by nature, are actually more determined and, as you grow through the years, you take care of yourself. Women are more responsible than men. You also have to look at the society and the country that we live in. We live in a country where women don’t really have rights, so, as a result, women are going to get stronger.

If, for instance, you are married to a man and you get divorced, there’s no provision for you as a woman. So, naturally, it’s normal for a woman to think "well, you know what, I need to make sure that I have all these things because I know that such things won’t be taken care of by the government” like they don’t force them to a pay a tax support and they are not forced to do some things. So, it is only normal for a woman to want to be in a situation where she’s controlling all these things.

But, in Nigeria, I’m not really sure if I agree that there’s a role switch. Yes, there are some useless people out there, but, good radiance to bad rubbish. Though I still think that men should play their parts, and for single women, they should just need to take care of the things that they need to be taking care of.
Remi: Would you then say that women are more independent now or is it just peculiar to Africa?

Eyoita: A lot of women have learnt from the mistakes of their predecessors, of their relatives, sisters and mothers. A lot of women have been left in the cold. When situations change, they find themselves essentially stranded. So, I feel it is not really a switch in role but women are taking on the role of men to protect themselves, to make sure that they are not left high and dry when their husbands take off. Serious things are happening in this society. Even if you do have a good relationship now, somebody can just come along and destroy that marriage and then, where do you find yourself, more so, if you have probably been sitting at home doing nothing. What happens to you at that point? The man will then say, “give me my car, I’m not giving you any allowance, you are on your own”.

So, what happens to the woman at that point. And some men tend to be irresponsible as well. The man may just decide that, “I can not pay your children’s school fees, do something, go out and find a way to sort yourself out”. You don’t want to see yourself in such a situation and men tend to do such to women that are totally dependent on them, if you notice. It’s something women should actually teach their daughters right from when they are young, that they should not feel that marriage is about finding a man that will take care of you later in life. You should be able to take care of yourself and strive to be whatever you want to be and not be discouraged.

Also, the economic situation in the country has forced a lot of women to be uncomfortable in the home, I think that’s part of it too. You are just wondering if you want to buy something, why do you have to ask your husband who might refuse you. Why should you not have money to be able to get whatever you want because it’s very demoralizing when you hear comments like, “what do you need that for, don’t you have enough in your room?” and that happens to a lot of women, especially when the man knows that you are totally dependent on him.

Remi: So, you agree that women are more independent now and not that there has been a switch in the role?

Vivien: Like I said, some men believe that they are God’s gift to women. Even when they see that the woman is working, they are like, “oh she works, she can pay the children’s school fees, she can take care of the children’s feeding” and, before you know what is happening, the woman has gradually fallen into the role of the breadwinner instead of the other way round. So, I still feel that there has been a role switch.

Angela: Men take advantage of women. Let me give you a case study. There is a lady whose man has not been doing anything for sometime. They have two kids and, as a matter of fact, the guy is not even bothered because he knows that the girl’s elder sister is married to a wealthy guy. For the first term, the children stayed at home because there was nobody to pay their school fees and the woman deliberately left the kids to stay at home to see if that will move the man to do something. But, he didn’t even move an inch simply because he knew that the woman will not want them to stay back for more than a term without going out to look for money to pay the children’s school fees. And this same guy has about two, three girlfriends outside that he is taking care of. I tell you, seventy to seventy five percent of Nigerian men are like that. Once they get the woman in and if the woman relaxes and accepts the role of a slave, they are going to take that woman’s for a ride - the
man, the family and every other person. This same man will always tell them at home that there’s no money, yet, he spends so much outside because he knows that the woman can not fold her arms and watch the children suffer. So, when you see a Nigerian woman struggling, it’s because she doesn’t want to be intimidated, she doesn’t want to be fooled, she doesn’t want her kids to suffer. So, she has to break out.

Remi: Is it a new thing or has it always been like this?

Jemi: It has always been like this. In a polygamous setting where a man has more than one wife and these people are just below average and the man doesn’t give a hoot about how they cope. The two women have meager incomes because they are both traders and, if you go around Lagos, that’s what you will find. You will find two women struggling over one man who is almost a none-entity, all in the name of having a man.

You will find women battling for the man’s attention. So, both women are involved in petty trading. One of them goes to the market and buys fresh fish and then she comes back and starts singing and making remarks that she doesn’t eat ice fish like the other person. Meanwhile, the man has not given either of them money, so he lives like a king .

The two women fight over him, so, when he comes, one is singing that she is cooking fresh fish and not ice fish like the other one and the poor woman will be cracking her head on where she’s going to get money the next time to buy fresh fish, while the man is there, feeling like a king. So, the women take care of their children’s school fees and everything. If such a man finds out that you have a relation somewhere who is very rich and comfortable, he’s relaxed because, just like you said, it’s not going to last for more than a term, she’s going to get out and find money and, believe me, the day he knows that you have come with some money, he’s going to find a way of cajoling you to give him some of that money.

So, when you find Nigerian women struggling and doing extra things to keep the home and children together, it’s because there’s a lot of pressure on the woman to earn income so as to keep the family going. If you come down to the low income people, that’s what you will find. In the high income earners, they cover it up with all the jewellery and fashion, so you really don’t know what is happening.

Vivien: What I’m saying is that I have a very good example and, today, the man chases after every slim girl in Lagos and he has has so many kids with them. He married his wife when she was slim, maybe a little bit fatter than I am or just my size, and with time, she had one or two and now she would fill up a whole chair and she wouldn’t want to do anything about it and the man says 'darling, go to the gym' and she gives excuses. For goodness sake, it’s a man’s world whether we like it or not. The man takes it for a few years and then, he can no longer take it. He comes home and he sees the mother in a wife.

Angela: Remember that men are very sensual, we are emotional. Men think down there we think with our heart. A woman doesn’t sleep with you unless her heart is kind of involved.

Remi: But she can sleep with you for the money?

Angela: No, no. Even if you have the money, she would try and like you a little bit, if not, you would be making her skin crawl. She would find something to like in you, 'oh he is very generous, he is very kind. That is being emotional. He knows how to take care of a woman. What of the one that complains that when he comes home is tired of the house smelling of baking, ogbono, cooking, etc.

I’d give you an example of a man who came home, wanting to have sex with his wife, she hadn’t had her bath and he said put off the fire and meet me upstairs now. She first went to take her bath and put on perfume and by the time she came to the bedroom, the man said he was not interested anymore. So, it was the pungent smell that he wanted. My own attitude is that this thing is very personal.

You have to study the man. In a relationship, you can’t use another person's style as a yardstick. So, it was the body odour that turned him on. I’ve seen all kinds of relationships. I know of someone who loves to spank bum and the girl couldn’t marry him because of that, but another girl married him because it made him happy.

Yetunde: I know someone who is only interested in married women. For him, that is the challenge. He would even ask the woman if her husband pleases her like he does.
But, I want to say that, in marriage relationships, there are so many factors that go into the success of a sexual relationship. It's much more than pampering your body and being attractive.

Cathy: I can tell you that I blew up to a size that I can't imagine. My husband told me to my face that I am gone. He told me he can’t stand fat women. When I’m undressing, I have to hide in the bathroom.

Yetunde: Some tell you you are okay, but, they still go after slim girls.
Cathy: They are lying. He told me to my face that we have to look for a solution because he can’t stand it. He told me that this thing will not work that I have to go and do something. One month after I had my kid, he wouldn’t touch me. And he told me that sex with me was like hard work now because I’m too big.

Remi: We have been talking about the men and what pleases them. What about the women? What affects our sexuality?

Angela: In my shop, men are not allowed in so I’m not worried that a man is going to come in and invade my privacy. And I like to work in shorts or a mini skirt that makes me feel free. I work with the hair so I feel that a hairdresser should not wear long sleeves or anything that would hamper her work. And I have this friend, when she comes to the shop and sees what I am wearing, she s like, "which kain cloth bi this wey you wear?" But I keep telling her that these are things that my husband buys for me which tells me that these are the things that he wants to see me in and she says, a married woman shouldn’t wear this kind of thing and I ask, who am I married to? Is it you or him? The person I married likes this and I have to do what will make my marriage work.

A year later, she came to me and said her husband had had a kid outside. When she saw the girl, she couldn’t believe it. All the things she said was wrong was what she was doing. The problem is that we think for men. What you used to wear that made him chase you, you suddenly got the ring and you think now you are married, no spaghetti tops, no body hug.

I’m a married woman and I keep asking, where in the encyclopedia of marriage are the rules that says as a married woman, you must wear this and that. If there is a book, I’m still waiting for somebody to show me. You wear something sexy, it is your female friends who will scold you. The men will never say it. And, when it comes to sex, this same person complained that no more orals and she says, “when I think of my pikin, i no fit do the thing again. What if my pikin catch me?" I told her that take it from me, this man is doing it outside. We are now changing the rules. Sex must be in the conventional way.

Yetunde: There are traditional excuses that women use. Even if it means lying down there and doing nothing, do it.

Vivien: I’d like to ask the medical people here a question. Does having a baby affect your sexuality? I’ve heard women say that after their first child, they lost interest in sex.

Eyoita: There are a lot of psychological issues that are associated with pregnancy itself, childbirth and taking care of the new child. A lot of things change. The woman is overwhelmed. A lot of women suffer post natal depression and it becomes psychiatric in some situations and the hormonal imbalances may have a part to play. And the woman is armed with the old age information that you become less attractive once you have a child and that your vagina is no longer as tight as it should be. So, she might have a complex about allowing her man touch her and these are things that may happen and if you are somebody that does not have self confidence, you might just give excuses just to stay away from this so that I will not dissatisfy my partner. Some women are fortunate after a child, they still remain as they were before, but, others stretch out so badly.

Boroji: What I would like to say is that, traditionally, in the past, the myth is that the good girl is the one who does not enjoy sex. And the bad girl is the one who gets wild and all that. So, there is a criteria for all that. I don’t necessarily see it that way but we’ve had those hang ups from our grandmothers and great grand mothers. I’ll speak from a Christian perpective.

Sex, for me, is a normal thing and I’m not talking of sex before marriage. I’m speaking from a marriage point of view. Sex is in the bible and it is something that should be enjoyed and the most important thing between you and your husband is communication.

Really, like the point Cathy made when she talked about her husband telling her she was too fat at a point, not every man would say that. People don’t have husbands who can really tell them how they feel. The important thing is for women to feel comfortable talking about their conditions. Understand the man you are with because that is the fundamental thing to making that relationship work. Angela is lucky her husband buys her those things and that is good. Whatever makes him excited and happy, just understand it and don’t have a problem doing it.

Remi: One thing I think we need to bring out is to understand that your husband is not your brother, neither is he an uncle. A lot of women see their husbands as their brother and forget that he is their lover.

Angela: There is so much emphasis on pleasing the men. What about the women?
Kathy: Most women complain that when they married, he was masculine with six packs and now the tummy is 42 and he snores.

Angela: And he won’t have his bath at night.

Yetunde: There are men who are married to really gorgeous women and go out to sleep with corner girls somewhere. The problem is he can’t marry that corner girl.

Eyoita: I have a male friend and he told me that he would never go into the delivery room with his wife because that would put him off sex for life. So, a lot of people have psychological set-backs and you have women who force their husbands to go with them into the delivery room. Maybe that is not such a good idea after all if he doesn’t want to.

Yetunde: A couple of weeks ago in my column, we treated the issue of female genital mutilation and I got a letter from somebody who says she is 42 years old and the circumcision done on her was the total cleaning of the whole private area and she says that all she has is just a tiny hole to pee. It is a very terrible situation. You are lucky if it's just the tip that was removed. But, if the whole labia is removed, you are in trouble. This woman said that the few times she tried to have sex, she says that she feels like somebody putting a stick into her. Like I said, she is 42 and not married. She is even afraid to take off her clothes in the presence of a man. So, there are certain traditional practices that also impede sex.

Eyoita: This practice is not with only people who are uneducated. I know someone who, after she had a child, the mother-in-law came and said they have to circumcise the child. And the woman was like no way, over her dead body would they touch her daughter. She fought tooth and nail. One day, she went to the market and, before she came back, they had circumcised her child. She wanted to kill herself. That happened in modern day Nigeria.

Jemi: That brings me to the point I made earlier that women are the custodian and enforcer of all these obnoxious customs and practices that we have. You feel that because you were circumcised, therefore, if a woman comes into your family, the same fate must befall her. I think that is evil.

Remi: I think we should look at the woman now in relation to politics. How have we fared?

Yetunde: Politically, I think we have done well, but, not so good in the sense that, in the last dispensation, we had more women in government than we have presently and the Etteh scandal seems to have beaten down most of the things that we have achieved.

Angela: We are afraid of what people would say. I know women who want to go into politics and their in-laws call them and say, go and use your fathers name. So, women shy away from politics because of societal expectations.

Yetunde: There are more women who are aware now but few are actually in public offices who can help to push our cases forward. Many of them are there and they don’t know why they are there. Many believe that unless they are in the ministry of women affairs or in some women affairs committee, they can't do anything. No.

They are there to go and change the stereotype not to go and follow the norm. Many don’t know why they are there. You put a woman somewhere and, in a few months, she starts wearing chokers and clampers. And they go to parties and want to be seen on soft sell magazines. We have to set values for each other and vote in the right women to push the cases of women. Yes, we should have supported Etteh but she messed up.

Vivien: I don’t think we should allow an Etteh to cloud women’s opportunities or all the things that they have done. Yes, we should vote in the right women. I think that we should support our own. Etteh went there and messed up but we shouldn’t use it as a yard stick or always bring it up, after all, an Abike Dabiri has been in the House and she is doing very well. We have others like Prof. Dora Akunyili. These women are doing well, so, lets have them as examples.

Remi: What do you make of an executive bill giving 30 percent position to women? Will that not help women come out to vie for what is reserved for them?

Eyoita: Are the men ready to allow or accept women in authority?

Angela: If they can accept an Okonjo Iweala as finance minister, why won’t they accept others?

Jemi: Okonjo Iweala did not contest for any elective post. We must draw a line between being appointed into an office and actually contesting for a political office.

Eyoita: I hear a lot of men say that they can't allow their wives to go into politics because if they get into that kind of position, they would be following all the ministers, following different people.

We don’t have that independence yet because the men feel so threatened.

Remi: Lets talk about the woman’s health and wellness briefly. How healthy is the Nigerian woman?

Eyoita: I think the Nigerian woman is catching on and what I promote really is the pro-active approach to health. That is why my placeis a wellness centre. Now, we find a lot of women who are taking control of the way they eat, making sure that they are healthier, live longer, look better and they think about their children wanting to see them grow. We are close to the western media a lot, with cable Tv and magazines, so women are actually becoming more aware of what is available out there and what women are doing in other countries to keep themselves well. The younger girls are interested in eating properly and looking good.

Kathy: What the doctor said is right. The awareness is there now but the problem is doing it the right way. Like I tell my clients when they come to me, it's not about what you want to see when you stand in front of the mirror; it's about survival. We try as much as we can to lecture them on how to eat healthy but how many of these women practice it. A lot of them listen but very few practice it. I’ll explain; a lot of them eat like truck pushers, drillers, builders and yet sit down like VIPs, executives and bankers. They don’t use that energy in doing anything and that is the reason why they put on so much weight. They are not active. Exercise is not punishment. Do what you enjoy, you can dance, take a stroll. Greed and indiscipline is a problem. You see them fighting over small chops at parties, not one, not two plates and you hear them saying, “they’ve not served us here”.

Jemi: I’d like to ask Cathy, it is nice to preach this message of healthy eating; to tell us to take plenty of vegetables: orange is about N20 for one, you have four children, how can you eat healthy? They say an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

Is it people who can’t eat that will buy one apple of N100 for four children? It is cheaper to eat eba. So, lets not over look the issue of poverty. People will eat first to fill the stomach than to eat healthy. So, when they balloon, you can’t blame them.

Kathy: That fatness is a sign that the economy is good for them but they don’t know yet. So what are going to be talking about is how to let them know that instead of
this eba eaten at a particular time, or assorted meat, have this option.

Vivien: Do you know it’s a lot healthier to eat amala than to eat eba or pounded yam?

Kathy: If you say health is expensive when sickness comes, let's see which one is cheaper. It’s a matter of awareness.

Boroji: What I do realise is that here, its not as convenient to try and eat healthy. I think your right, its comparatively cheaper to eat eba. You want to have something like salad, but it’s easier to find these people that sell eba and amala they are everywhere. Even if I don’t want to eat that meat pie or eba, they are there. Healthy options are harder to find.

Eyoita: In America most things are about convenience and it is the convenient foods that are leading to health problems. That is why they have the weight problems.

Jemi: There are some things that are very basic in other societies, here, you either look for it or spend extra to get it.

Kathy: Most of those imported foods and fruits are full of chemicals, pesticides and they are toxic overload.

Eyoita: Those imported things are not only toxic overload but you can be sure that they are sending you inferior products.

Remi: What about Standards Organisation of Nigeria?

Angela: Story

Remi: We started with looks lets end with looks. Glamour and hair.
Angela: Yes, we are more exposed to good styles, we don’t care the cost about looking good yanga get pain. But we are still ignorant about the danger of chemicals and hairdressing as a whole. A lot of women still believe that unless their hair is permed, they have not started life. There are certain stereotypes. My experience has shown that every body is different so it's about finding what works for you. Don’t follow any style. What you should be following is quality for your hair type, your peculiar type of work, your lifestyle, etc. Look for that things that suits you.

Some people say I can never wear wig, that’s you. For some people, if you are in a high profile job, you don’t even have time on a Sunday to do your hair. The wig comes to the rescue. But, some feel that if your hair is not relaxed, there is something wrong with you. Are you not a modern woman? Whereas this thing is not for everybody. So, as much as we like glamour, glamour brings damage to hair and we are not appreciating that yet. I meet women who have irreversible damage and they can’t cope. Their husbands cry over women who were once beautiful but lost same. And she has five children and, with every child, something goes and then, once you hit forty, the hair will never be the same again. The thinness of the hair starts to really show when you hit forty.

Eyoita: Thank God for weave on

Remi: How can we help ourselves?

Angela: We can help ourselves by being aware of the dangers of chemicals. People don’t know that this thing is dangerous. The Immac you use to shave your under arms, is just two steps above a relaxer. So if you leave a relaxer long enough on your hair, it will do the work of Immac for you. Some people retouch and fix and when you try to advise them, they tell you I’ve been fixing my hair for over ten years. One day, the hair goes and never comes back.

Eyoita: There are good nutritional supplement that can help. I have a skin, hair and nail preparation that I recommend. It's very good.
Remi: Finally, lets all just conclude about the Nigerian woman.
Eyoita: The Nigerian woman has come of age. She has woken up. And she is moving forward.

Kathy: The Nigerian woman is determined and self conscious. Trying to be disciplined in her home but politically not so good yet. But financially and maritally she is doing well.

Yetunde: I want to agree that we’ve made giant steps but we still need to go back to the basics, go back to the grass-roots. There is still a lot of mobilization to be done. We need to place our values right and inculcate some values into the system. That is the only way we can get it right.

Angela: I don’t know if I really agree. Definitely, we’ve improved. The Nigerian woman of today, compared to the Nigerian woman of the 80s or in the 70s, in those days, you were and not heard but now, we are even holding positions of authority, women are even running multi million naira businesses but the truth is we are still second class citizens in our country. What with Sharia and all that. You are still expected to be submissive to your man and to the men. We are not like the American woman. We are not there yet. For instance, I was trying to renew my passport and I still needed a letter of consent from my husband. What do you say about that? And there is no one fighting for us. Make no mistake about that, the women in politics are not fighting for us.

Vivien: I’m not sure the Nigerian woman has improved over time. I still think there is a lot she needs to do. First and foremost, I think the Nigerian woman needs to take her destiny into her own hands and change things because if we continue the way we are going, we would never stop being second class citizens. Yes, we are being seen and not only but we would still be under the man’s shadow. So we take our own destiny into our hands and realise that our world should not revolve round a man.

Jemi: we can’t deny the fact that we have done well, we have moved forward, it may not be the best but we’ve certainly and definitely moved forward. Women have moved into areas where we never thought we would find them. Where we are not doing well, we need to look at those areas and fine-tune our strategies and move forward. Talking about harmful traditional practices, we need to keep dialoguing with those concerned. It will take fora like this one to help us bring the issues to the fore. We need to sit down and discuss and enlighten our chiefs and traditional rulers.

People who believe in tradition believe in tradition. It's like a religion to them. So we need to keep talking to them, like when we talked about FGM for example, bring in a doctor to come and enlighten them about the dangers of such practices and probably step by step, they will get to a point where they will understand. Until then, we cannot force them to stop something they have practiced over hundreds of years. It will take time. So we need an avenue to vent all we have and we might be able to take one step ahead of where we are now.

And we need to appeal to the women in positions right now, because they are not many, they must set examples for others. They must do what is right because it is very easy for us to join the men to criticise them. Yet, in this country, we’ve had men stealing money nothing was done. We’ve had a governorship candidate in this country who was asked about the mineral resources in his state and he talked about Coca-cola and Fanta and nobody killed him. So, let's not say because a woman is not in a grade A class of profession, it becomes an issue, no. We shouldn’t join the men to ridicule the women. If there is anything they are not doing right, let’s help them. We need to sustain the tempo and maintain our achievement. Thank God, we’ve had deputy governors, we’ve had Etiaba as governor in Anambra State, it is on record. So we are doing well.

Boroji: Definitely, there are areas where women have definitely made advances. I think career wise we are moving in the right direction. More women are moving into the corridors of power and I think over the next couple of years, we are going to see more. The presidency, I’m not sure yet, with fashion and beauty, the awareness is there and women are being more involved. With health, I think we still need a lot more to be done to encourage us to be more health conscious and aware of our own inner health. I think politics will be the last realm for us. As much as possible, we need to keep fighting for our own rights that is the only way change will come.